Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Isn't it funny what God uses to speak to us sometimes...

A perfect Martini, is made from either Gin or Vodka, Vermouth, and a 'Briney Olive'. There are many methods for combining these ingredients, depending on your preference. These include, but is not limited to: Shaken or stirred? How many times do you stir? What order to you put the ingredients in? Do you mix the Vermouth in, or just 'perfume' the ice pefore pouring it out again?
If you want my opinion, bring some Noille Prat and some Olives to my house, and I will show you.

So I was thinking about Martinis in church this week (like you do...). I was thinking that I don't have them very often. They are my favorite cocktail. I have Vodka chilling in the fridge. I've got a proper Martini glass (important). I even have cocktail sticks. I have recently run out of Vermouth, but that isn't why I don't have them very often. The reason is because the olives in the fridge are a bit old. I bought them a few weeks ago.
You see, a Martini without an olive, isn't a Martini. It's the Olive that makes it! The only thing worse than vodka and vermouth without an olive, is vodka and vermouth with an OLD Olive. The Olive is very important. I could drink a martini from a wine glass, or a whiskey glass. It wouldn't be the same as a Martini glass, but at least it would be a Martini. A Martini without an Olive just isn't worth bothering with. So, this is the problem. I've bought my Vodka, and that keeps for ever. You only have to buy a bottle every now and again. The glass is pretty much a once and for all purchase. Cocktail sticks never go off, and you get hundreds in a pack. Olives however are only good for a few days. I don't buy Olives every week, and because of that the vodka, the glass, the cocktail sticks and the shaker sit idle and gather dust.

God spoke to me through this. You see, I've got all the ingredients for a beautiful cocktail. I've got things that are once and for all: I've been baptised. I've been forgiven and accepted by God. I've also got things that I don't need to 're-stock' very often: My Bible, Christian friends and a devotion journal book. Somehow though, when I shake all these things together, it just isn't right, and I've figured out why. It's either because I'm using an old Olive, or missing the Olive out all together.

The Olive is connecting with God. Interacting with him. Recieving from him. Listening to him. Olives are not very big, but they have a massive impact. And they don't keep for long. You have to get new ones. The fresher the better.

God... Give us each day, our daily Olive.


  1. Hey.
    Love it.
    you're an inspirational writer just like the rest of us.
    I look forward to future installments.

    you'll be pleased to know that I've been trying to embrac e the olive culture, future martini sessions will involve me eating an olive.

  2. Good analogy there I think :)

    And they're James Bond's favourite drink, which immediately makes you cool!


  3. You know I love this.. we have spoken of it.. but what I didn't tell you that I feel I should... is how VERY much I HATE olives!!! haha and NOW that feels like blasphemy :oP I eagerly await your next installment xxx

  4. Thats ok. What I didn't tell you is that it's acceptable to have a cocktail onion instead of an olive. It ruins the analogy though, because they are pickled and keep for longer. I can't remember the name of a martini with an onion. 5 points to the first person who can find the answer...

  5. Vodka Gibson??? points for me??? instead of points.. can we have further gems from the gens? you gotta give the people what they want James xxx

  6. ooooh and... I don't like cocktail onions either... or gin.... I am clearly an awful christian :oP xxx

  7. Very good! It's a Gibson Martini. well googled.
    But unfurtunatly it does say in the book of cocktails, chapter five, those who don't drink martini will not enter the kingdom of heaven.